Budgie Smuggler
- Just when I thought it was over - I've got one more paper to do.
- Maybe now that the semester is over, the lunatics that comment on this blog will slow down. But we still want to hear from KL (Kirkland Lake) Chris and the Gold Digging Parasite.
- Christmas is right around the corner. I've done it once here, but it still doesn't feel like it.
- Seeing a Christmas tree at a mall and Santa in red shorts isn't quite the same.
- Great nickname - Montreal Canadiens goaltender Cristobel "hip, hip" Huet
- There have been 34,396 page views since I started this thing.
- So I was talking to one of the ladies in the library this afternoon. She told me that she was going on a date. Apparently she says to the guy that she might be late because she first had to go pick up some bird food for her sister's Cockatoo. But he responds, "hey, I'll go with you, I've got to get some food for my Budgie.".........Here's a little hint. Don't bother dating guys that have a Budgie. I'm not even gonna bother saying more.
- Saw Borat the other night. It's a classic. Looking forward to seeing the new James Bond movie.
posted by The Vitamin's Blog @ 10:41 p.m.
42 Comments:
Gord - Please mind what you say when you use the word lunatic.
Budgie Smuggler in case you didn't know is a term we Australians use to describe men who are wearing the Speedo.
I have one question for you who is the Gold Digging Parrasite? Are they male or female I cannot quite tell?
Here is an article from Jeff Randall from the UK Telegraph. I am about to head off with my man for a bit of a christmas bash.
Christmas: crucified by do-gooders
By Jeff Randall
Last Updated: 12:01am GMT 08/12/2006
Comment on this story Read comments
Your view: Has Christmas been ruined?
My rubbish bin is full of Christmas cards. I threw them there. No, I'm not suffering from an obsessive tidiness disorder. Well, maybe a bit, but that's not the reason that I have lobbed dozens of cards straight into the trash can. I'm no Scrooge, either. Not every card I'm sent gets dumped. Far from it. Many are kept as a source of great cheer.
As I write these words, I'm looking at a very jolly Christmas message on my desk from Tony Froggatt, the chief executive of Scottish & Newcastle. By contrast, I can see season's greetings from British American Tobacco nestling in the bin, next to a plastic coffee cup. Why the distinction? Is it because I'm a fan of McEwan's ale, but detest Lucky Strike cigarettes? Not at all.
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The selection process is very precise. The discarded items have one thing in common: they are not Christmas cards at all, by which I mean, as well as having no Christian images, Nativity scenes etc, they don't even mention the "C" word. I'm afraid that "happy holidays" simply will not do.
Before you ask, I haven't become a weirdo fundamentalist. This is not a matter of religiosity (I flicker somewhere between an agnostic and a mild believer). My protest is about resisting those who seem hell bent on turning Christianity into a crime.
In the United Kingdom, this time of year is a Christian festival — as it should be. It is part of our heritage. You don't have to be a fire-and-brimstone evangelist to respect a faith that still underpins traditional British values and institutions, even though much of its spiritual message was lost long ago in a fog of consumerism. Jettisoning Christmas-less cards is my tiny, almost certainly futile, gesture against the dark forces of political correctness. It's a swipe at those who would prefer to abolish Christmas altogether, in case it offends "minorities". Someone should tell them that, with only one in 15 Britons going to church on Sundays, Christians are a minority.
None of the Christmas-less cards that I have received came from a PC nutter. A few were from good friends and business acquaintances. But I rejected them anyway.
It's sad, but I suppose we have become used to ghastly councillors, such as those in Birmingham, trying to rebrand Christmas in favour of something more multi-cultural, even pagan, eg, Winterval. It should come as no surprise that third-rate minds produce only third-rate ideas.
But what I found so shocking this week was a survey from a law firm, Peninsula, revealing that three out of four British employers have banned conventional Christmas decorations, lest they offend employees of other faiths. Bosses, the report said, are worried that they could be — wait for it — sued if they were to allow displays of Christian joy, but not those of other religions. Can they be serious? If that were not bad enough, the health-and-safety stormtroopers are parking their tanks on our tinsel. Santa's sleighs need seat-belts, and mince pies must be "risk-assessed" before being handed out to children.
Royal Bank of Scotland has told workers not to put decorations near computers, as they could be a fire hazard, or risk injury by standing on desks to hang up holly. It's just as well that the chief executive, Sir Fred Goodwin, isn't that timid, or the bank would be still be using an abacus in Edinburgh instead of cutting a swath through America. What is the matter with these people?
The paradox of the dreadful campaign to create a culture of resentment against conventional Christmases is that it's being led neither by ethnic minorities nor leaders from other religions. Quite the reverse. Many non-Christians seem genuinely baffled by our desire for self-abasement. Every year, I receive a proper Christmas card from the owner of my local curry house. He's a Muslim from Bangladesh. If I told him that we were banning Christmas, he'd be horrified. It's his busiest period. In my experience, Muslims are not offended by Christmas, not even in Islamic countries. Eight years ago, my family and I spent Christmas in Dubai. There the hotel went out of its way to find a Christian clergyman (he was a Greek Orthodox priest) to perform a service for us on December 25.
No, it's not the Muslims, Jews or Hindus who are behind the drive to secularise Christmas. They are not the culprits. The presence of a small cross round the neck of a British Airways check-in staff member does not prompt them to scream in protest, vomit in the aisle or rush for a transfer to another carrier. On the whole, they couldn't care less. The demons in this horror story of crucifying Christmas are white, middle-class do-gooders whose assumption of a superior morality is as disgraceful as it is disgusting. They are busybodies, obsessed with forcing on us their vacuous "ethical" code. In the view of Dr John Sentamu, the splendid Archbishop of York, they are "the chattering classes", who see themselves as holding a flag for an atheist Britain. Actually, they are more pernicious than that. The teachings and guidance of old-fashioned Christianity offend them, so they seek to remove all traces of it from public life.
Christian voluntary groups are harassed on the grounds that being a Christian excludes "diversity". Christian Unions at universities are suspended because they insist that their members have Christian beliefs, which is interpreted as opposition to gay sex.
It's extraordinary. In an increasingly godless age, there is a rising tide of hatred against those who adhere to biblical values. It is not yet illegal to be a Christian, but woe betide those who hold fast to a standard of behaviour that was once the moral norm. As a contributor to our Letters page asked yesterday: will those who are offended by Christmas also be offended by taking paid leave on Christmas Day and Boxing Day?
It wasn't meant to be like this. Somewhere along the line, a loose federation of diversity champions, equality campaigners and human-rights activists has metamorphosed into a tyrannical minority for whom Christmas is an abomination. Its demands for freedom have become an all-out assault on those Protestants and Roman Catholics who deplore "the permissive society". At this time last year, Jack Straw, then foreign secretary, was upset that his official Christmas cards contained only the anodyne message, "Season's Greetings". He vowed that, in future, his cards would have a real Christmas thought.
Jack, I doubt that I'm on your list, but, if you were to send me a proper card, I promise it will not end up in the bin.
http://www.youtube.com/verify_age?next_url=/watch%3Feurl%3D%26v%3DVsZjaooOty4
"the lunatics that comment on this blog will slow down. But we still want to hear from KL (Kirkland Lake) Chris and the Gold Digging Parasite."
- fine I can take a hint! But don't expect me not to be offended.
And Borat sucked (don't try the cheese)
you suck
I am a he bitch
So thats all it takes around here. One short back an sides haircut and Mr Jack (ex Skuller) is on the society pages.
And good luck to him. Ah Mr Jack beware its fickle at the top. Last week they wanted Mr Finch to banish you to Rocky for the rest of your natural life. This week your sipping chardonnay with the 'trust kids' on their private yachts. Well well!
Just because we did not have anything better to do during the semester, does not mean we have anything better to do now.
Well it's that time of year again. The "Office Christmas Party" season. Well we had one of 3 yesterday and I made sure to drink as much wine as possible. While doing so I truly learned alot more about bureaucrats here in Ottawa. They don't dress up for work, but they bring out their best for the Christmas party's. Our Deputy Miniter even made an apperance (Although a nice guy he looks idenical to Mr. Burns from the Simpsons). My favorite thing about the public service is that the party kicked off around noon and so most people left to go home by about 2. But to be honest I cant wait until i've finished my NCAs and can start my licensing process (at the end of August).
Anyways, I've gotta go to another Christmas party. Gord thanks for the props and i'll be sure to leave some holiday comments. Have a great Christmas and New Years, good luck on the paper and hopefully more success with the ladies haha...
I'll be driving through your homeown of NB on both Friday and the following Tuesday. I'll be sure to stop at Fanny's for a beer for you.
Gold Digging Parrasite:
Why are you so bitter?
Gutter Rat:
My sisters and I are not trust kids our dad is a working class man. Besides I am not that keen on Chardonay and prefer other blends with the exception of Reisling. I like a good Pinot Noir or Dry White from the Margaret River.
Indeed our yacht is private and if anyone wants to go further than 15 nautical miles off the coast of Capricorn we need to know in advance so we can rigg up the ocean equipment.
Well I have two more christmas parties to attend. One of them is at a Minister's house so that should be pretty good. As we have a three hour drive ahead of us the next day I think I will be taking it easy.
BTW Gord good luck with your paper.
Merry Kiss My Ass 'Trust Girl'. If your not on a Trust then your bludging off my tax dollars putting 'yourself' thru uni. Your no hope of ever recouping the funds to pay the Government back let alone getting a job. That makes you either a parrasitic sponge on your parents or a Government 'fraudster. Take your pick both are equally morally corrupt! Someone has to be bitter and twisted 'Mr Jack' is holed up in the public bar of his parents hotel in Rocky on his 101st JD and coke.
Are we talking ocean going yacht are there any single old boilers available?
Gold Digging Parrasite:
Firstly, I am not the beneficiary of a trust and have paid for some of my own fees. Secondly, my parents have also contributed to my fees. Thirdly, I have a study scholarship from work and have been working my ass off doing 10 hour days. Finally, I think you will find that approximatley half of my fees have been fully tax dedectable as they have been paid up front and I work.
Some of my own fees? Hmm how much
Working ten hours a day? on what
Parents how much?
dedectable? no such word
study scholarship? how much
Forensic Accountant:
I have contributed approximatley $25,000 towards my own tuition. It is actually closer to one third of my fees which have been fully tax deductable. Generally, I use the tax refunds towards the next year of study. As you don't know about the tax deductability of up front university fees I can only assume that you do not pay tax in Australia. In essence if there is a nexus between your employment and your study it is tax deductable.
I have been working 10 hours days writing legal briefs and submissions for a Minister. I have also been developing legal policy material with my supervisor who is a senior legal officer.
My parents have contributed more than $50,000. (I also note that for part of this time I was working for my father).
My study scholarship this financial year was for approximatley $8,000.
"My parents have contributed more than $50,000" - you can't be that great at maths.
If you are post grad and you "borrow" $50k of the government you get a 10% discount if you pay it back in lots over $500. So it's cheaper in the long run to get an interest free loan from the government than borrow it off your parents, or pay cash to Bond yourself
Anonymous I am always of the view that it is cheaper not to pay any tax. If you work full-time and study part-time there are ways of making sure you pay no tax.
My parents have given me money and I have paid cash to Bond myself. When I say that my parents have paid more than 50K that includes some contribution towards accomodation expenses too. BTW my
parents has also been able to deduct money he has given me from their tax.
Essentially, I deduct all of my university fees from my taxable income. I also deduct the interest from my share portfolio. In the end I pay no tax. As my hubby is a high income earner I don't feel too bad about this as he is slugged with 40% tax and has fewer deductions. Unfortunatley we only purchased our inner city house last year so we havn't been able to cash in on negative gearing. Now that marginal tax rates have changed there are also less benefits to salary packaging. As I earn less than my hubby the car which is under an associate lease is in my name.
Remember what Kerry Packer said about tax. If you pay more than you have to it is like donating your money to charity.
Oh lies lies lies. Your either an attention seeking lunatic or some little termite at the Tax Office next audit heaven! Thank god your shacked up with some bloke. Poor man. You probably sent him bald already and he's well and truly on the way to his first heartattack. Your the sort of shelila that kills a bloke! The good news is I wont be bumping into you on those seedy single sites I troll looking for action. Or will I?
you guys are all frickin maniacs! get a life!!
And another thing Kerry Packer did not say those words! Your misquoting the dead! Do some research you grandstanding peasant! Big noter! God poor husband. I bet the poor guy sits on the lounge every night sinking as much red wine/beer/spirits as he possibly can to take the edge off your social climbing big noting pitch!
Junk Yard Dog:
Yes know that I was misquoting Kerry Packer but essentially it is what he said. Also the ATO is welcome to audit me as I have receipts for everything.
My hubby still has a lot of hair. In relation to social climbing I don't need to I mean one already has a private yacht.
No you want be bumping into me on any single sites. I only like pedigree dogs like the Labradoodle.
And another thing back yard dog we will be having desert before wine
"Seeing ... Santa in red shorts isn't quite the same." Stop complaining!
Australians don't complain that every single Christmas themed movie has snow in it. It's a fact of life. You had a choice and you made it.
Besides; it's time you got thankful that you get to spend time in such a wonderful country. It is time to start paying homage to this great land and stop being so ungrateful. We educate you, we entertain you and we have pristine beaches with half naked women. Smarten up Prisco! You are having the time of your life, admit it.
HA, Funy re the cookoo. Unfortunately, the only cookoo's we have in this country are the fake ones that appear on cookoo clocks. It may be that this girl was pulling your leg, or the 'date' in question. There are many species that have arrived in this country (cane toads, deer, the common law, mice, camels, Indian Minors which are birds, rabbits, the crown of thorn star fish, blackberries, sparrows, Italians and Canadians) some are easier to erradicate than others, however the cookoo is not one of these. To agree with a comment made above, it is correct that Speedos are an Australian swim wear, also known as a swimming garment that has the same title as this post, it makes no reference to size. Fortunately, most Australian men came to the conclusion that more, is often better than less when it comes to swim wear and sightings of such garments have been few and far between since the late 80s. Unfortunately, there are a few individuals who continue to subscribe to this fashion. It's a bad mistake, they have been few and far between nonetheless seen from Cairns to Anglsea and Lorne, apparently Broome and my sources tell me one recent but quickly rectified appearance on Rottnest Island.
I can't believe the bullshit I read in the comment section sof this blog. It's truly unbelievable how stupid and pitiful some people sound. Who cares whether or not someone paid for their own education. Why does that matter or better yet why is that anyones business? You don't need to justify anything. When you get out into the real world none of that matters anymore. Why not just try and get along and enjoy life. Merry X-Mas
Listen point taken about Queensland. But you have to admit the service industry up here is 'Faulty Towers' style. I know it's a holiday location but it's cringe material. I am an 'Australian' you know they got all the scum from England and sent them out here two hundred years of heritage and all that stuff. I own a Piano that was made before the English came out here and destroyed the place. But even I cant take the service up here. I can understand why Gordon is a little homesick. The trouble with everyone up here is there is no empathy. Take 'Mr Jack' ex Skuller for example. Ok the kid needs some advice on the way he communicates but what the hell walk a mile in his shoes. Most people just wanted him banished from Uni by Mr Finch. He has a haircut and now he is out on 'private yachts' (equates to a $3000 death trap) sipping chardonnay with the 'trust kids'. And Gordon ok he is a popular guy but heh its christmas! What normal person wouldn,t mind being home! A little empathy thats all! On Mr Jack I think some people may be very suprised where this kid ends up!
Touchy Feely Kinda Person;
You're right. Some of us do have empathy, we just don't wear it like a badge. Some of us have been burnt many times by showing empathy to people just to have it thrown back in our faces. Some of us never learn, me included. In the spirit of Mr Jack's commitment to change I have returned his link to my blog. Let's see if it stays. .... I'll think about unblocking him on MSN.
D
Emma the kind of guys who should wear speedos are like those in the famous Max Dupain photo of the Man in the Beach.
I agree with KL Chris that there are some pathetic people who resent others. It is so obvious that the Junk Yard Dog is
a bitchy female. Yes these people need to get a life. You don't have to be a working class tory to enjoy the good things in life.
The mesage of Christmas should be one of happiness. BTW we don't have an English Christmas at our house. We have a mix of cultures with the Gingerbread house, smoked trout and salmon, deliecious salads like my favourite ones with potato and pinenuts and orange and mint salad, turkey with apricot and pistachio stuffing, Ilso make a wiked mango triffle.
I understand Touchy Feely in relation to the Faulty Towers kinda of service. The amount of whinging poms I have encountered on the Gold Coast explains it. I cannot say that I own a piano which pre-dates English settlment in Australia it sounds like the kind ot thing which should be in a museum. BTW what is meant by the $3,000 death trap.
phew, hope you all feel better after that, money,university, fees, social climbing (sounds like Melbourne), speedo's, and summer without snow!! Gordo, have a great Christmas down under, promise yourself and family that you will be back home next year, they miss you and so do some 'friends' up there, as now you are downunder. Thanks for the UK article, go Jesus along with Joseph and Mary, the three Kings and the Sheperbs.
Heathens come along for the ride, Christmas, a great social event. PS there are some really lovely Canadians, if only meeting for a short time, go Drew you are so lucid!!!!!!
Yes well they all where black in Melbourne and talk very loudly about which private school they attended.
Oh and my father would never wear a morning suit he doesn't need to pretend he is in the Royal family. Besides he is very much a black tie kinda guy.
I have decided to make an effort with those christmas cards this year and I am going to start making the house ready for a relaxed gathering with friends for New Years. Gord you are most welcome to join here there will be some very hot single girls.
OK thats it its four days to Christmas. Only love from now on!
Gord can you get me an invite as well!
Yeh sure you can come along. The more the people the better.
This Blog is in dismay; it is running in a shadow of its former glory. It has devolved from a place of political concern and change to a rambling site for those of the Bond community who feel that they are so insignificant that there voice can not be heard apart from here, Grow/Toughen up, stop being so pathetic.
Tax dodging anon, is your IQ equivalent to 0, How can you defend the moral high ground whist being a snobby tax avoiding bitch.
I extend my thanks drew; do note none of Bonds known bloggers represent the current crowd I speak against. All though I must say I am concerned about how much I am agreeing with you late, or more so how your word has helped me in the direction of my life.
To all those capable of exercising human intelligence I extend wishes of a merry Christmas, to the lot of you on this blog that cant, get a life.
Mr Jack;
Welcome back and welcome to the light side.
D
Skuller,
I just believe that those who work should be rewarded and that if you can find ways to manage you finances to make yourself better off as long as it is legal why not. Besides I donate money to charity every time I pay the GST.
So your very well off from you finance and tax dodging, whilst you still wish to claim the glory of donating so little of your capital to charity, I believe it to be epitomise selfishness that you try to find yourself a morally just person by giving so little of you have.
Remember that the donation of a poor person who gives the last dollar to other poor people is more valued then a milionare who gives a hundred, so says the lord
"The Bible, New Testament, somewhere"
Hi Skuller,
There are over 120 lawful tax deductions in Australia. For good holiday reading buy yourself a copy of the Master Tax Guide.
Seriously, as my hubby pays about 40% this is a lot more than a lot of other Australians. Did you know that the bill from negative gearing is more than double what is paid in social security payments. No government will ever remove negative gearing either as it would be political suicide. There are a lot of people who negative gear and pay no tax and receive the Family Tax Benefit too. Proportionally the amount of tax we pay is higher than the average Australian.
Perhaps the poorist working people in our society are those who are single and without families. Singles have the highest tax burden of all.
We are very generous and help others where we can by giving free computers to the elderly and wiring them up to the internet. We also stop and help people when they have broken down.
Have a happy christmas and if we in town you are most welcome to come over for a BBQ and a beer.
My my my listen only love from now on on this blog. Merry christmas to all. What has happened in here. Where is the love. Give me some lovin. Now that is some song! Go easy! No one gets outta this game called life alive!
If there is free beer and a bbq I am there even if I have to eat the tax act first. Can I please get involved in this 'high society' party. I can dress up and roll my vowels!
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